THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE WEEK: Bloodsuckers feasting on the innocent!

The biggest news of the week came on Wednesday. No, it wasn't that McCain was suspending his campaign so that he could rush to D.C. to vote on the bailout bill, but only after making three fundraising stops, spending the night in New York, and, ultimately, missing any opportunity to participate in the negotiations, which failed anyway.

No, it wasn't that a third financial giant, Washington Mutual, has failed due to unprecedented Wall Street greed, that was actually precedented but nobody in the Bush administration wants to admit it because they'd rather be prescient than scholarly. To wit: "[The current economic] crisis has been caused by past, present and future economic policies."

It wasn't even the general realization that investment banks, which specialize in buying companies, repackaging them, and reselling them, are risky ventures when most of their capital is leveraged on loans that were provided without documentation, and when their assets are insured by a company that also invested heavily in loans that were provided without documentation.

It was this:

The biggest news of the week was in Marvel Apes #2: They're not just apes . . . They're vampires!

How fucking cool is that?